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A personal account

If you can’t get your girl to game with you, I can at least tell you how to get her as hyped up as you when you’re watching Esports. It’s story time…


I was sitting around doing my Duolingo exercises when my homie asked if I wanted to watch the ‘Goku vs Jiren’ fight with him. I had a semi-busy schedule and I find that stuff addictive so I said no. Of course, it drew me in but as we were watching I got distracted by his very intense hype at every major clash. I’ve loved DB since I was a young teen but I couldn’t bring myself to feel that level of thrill during the action scenes. Ever since I’ve been a person, I’ve only witnessed this marked enthusiasm in male members of the species. It kinda made me feel like I was missing out on a huge dopamine hit, and who doesn’t love a good dopamine hit? Also, I wanted to love action movies, like all the cool girls, but I couldn’t bring myself to see past a few things. I was only a liar when it counted so yes, I was honest about it and did get labeled boring.

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Meh. Not much of a story, I get it but it’s got little giveaway lessons like the Ugly Duckling. So technically, I’m your Shaman. My address is at the bottom, mail me gifts.

Well, you don’t open a fortune cookie to hear it’s dumb monologue so… My point is, I’d have loved to get all caught up in the sheer hype zone everyone else got into but I just didn’t get a few things.

How come finding out about stunt doubles and action breaks didn’t ruin it for everyone as it did for me? Don’t say I’m overthinking it, that’s not going to help. We both know, you and I, that special effects can make it look like anyone is doing anything the director or whoever writes, happy, so why are we marveling for the actors as though those are their own real accomplishments?


If I had seen that one hardcore soldier character in a Nicki Minaj video once, how on Earth was I expected to go from that to being immersed in his role? Nope. Didn’t have it in me. Then there’s animation. After all, I’m only writing this article because I watched a kickass Dragonball video yesterday and I was able to enjoy action for the first time in my life. So, yes, animation. If Akira Toriyama wants Goku to turn into some new form of Saiyan , literally all he has to do is draw it that way so why are all the boys awestruck at him doing so in the middle of a fight? It literally does not take anything more than the regular animation they use to make a whole new beam of power shoot out of his hands so um., why are we all going ‘did you see what that guy just did to that one? Oh my God, that guy is so ultimate!’ (Ultimate is used almost interchangeably with awesome where I’m from.)

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Throughout the video he’d been trying to answer my questions and I got this much out of it:

He’s got so much to lose so he’s forced to push his mind and body further.
He uses all the food he eats to make beams of energy from himself, the way an average human would make chemical energy of whatever.
He practices and strategizes (may not be a word, idk) so as a character he has earned that transference of skill from their creator.

That made me think of Goku as an entity who was separate from Storyboard. So before you watch a league with a non-gamer girl, you might have to make her watch the character’s backstories and some choice Youtube videos about the characters skills. She might have to think of each character as it’s own entity, working together with the player as his/her commanding officer, instead of just being controlled by the player. Just a thought, to enhance the fun.

I baked my homie cookies today. I also watched some Esports online. I had fun. Ultimate levels of fun.


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